Last weekend was one of my close friends from university's hen do. Now I was excited to go as not seen the Hen or another close friend for over 2 and half a years. Plus I needed a weekend away from home but why consider it my worst nightmare? Because it was full of things that push every anxiety I have at the minute all combined into one weekend.
My anxieties/problems:
- Big group of people
- People I did not know and they did not know my background
- Alcohol and pressure to drink
- Being round loud drunk people
- Fancy dress and feeling stupid
- Insomnia and not sleeping
- IBS like symptoms due to stress
Alcohol is one major anxiety I have around new people. I knew it would not be a massive 'thing' as the Hen does not drink but I still find it hard. I have a very fine line between happy drunk and miserable drunk which was one place I did not want to be on my friends hen do. Explaining why I do not drink without going into for people I did not know was hard and some people still didn't understand how you can go out and have a good time without drinking. When we were having a night in and doing PJ party or murder mystery I was alright drinking then as I felt safe. I was in control of the situation and people would not really notice if you were drinking wine or shloer.
I find fancy dress really stressful because I hate to look stupid, feel stupid or take the mick out of myself. I think it is down to me wanting to control situations. However I felt like I wanted to join in with my friends and have a good night. In the end by the time we got out and were dancing in the bars I had a good night and really enjoyed being out but it is still not something I will do happily.
At times I felt ok but my stomach did not agree and I had some major IBS like symptoms with cramping and just generally not feeling like eating much. I think it is down to stress and worrying. I have given up caffeine and bread to an extent which has helped a lot. I am hoping that once I move out I will have more control over my diet and it will improve some more.
How did I feel at the end of it? Exhausted but I had an amazing weekend. It did feel like I had survived something but all in all it had been a successful weekend. I have more confidence in working with my anxieties.
Seeing my friends again reminded me how I have people that love me and enjoy spending time with me. I had not seen my friends for nearly 2 and half years plus it is hard for us to even catch up on the phone because we all live busy lives a few hours apart. I know they should not be excuses but it is just how life goes but this weekend showed me no matter what these 2 girls will always be there for me and look after me. Now I am looking forward to seeing everyone again at the wedding!
Hen do: My worst nightmare? Not really when you have amazing friends xx
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